just one line

So, I bought an ept. I bought one that could detect hcg as early as 4 days before the start of your period. And since my period is due to start on Wednesday, I figured I could check today. So I did. Negative. I just stopped crying a few minutes ago.

So this means that I have to explain to the receptionist at the fertility office that I need to set up an appointment for one of those saline uterus tests. The doctor told me that if I didn't get pregnant this time that we would look more into the little spot in my uterus that could be a polyp. She told me that they would inject saline into my uterus and then she gave me the name of the test but I completely forgot it. But now since I might have to actually have one, I searched online for it and I think it's a sonohystogram ultrasound.

Anyway, the thing that stresses me out is how complicated my next call to the clinic will be when I have to say to the receptionist: "ok, so I had an IUI 2 weeks ago, took a pregnancy test and it's negative, and the doctor said that I need a saline uterus test that I think is called a sonohystogram ultrasound." Now, I love my RE's office, but if I get this one receptionist in particular whose "skylight leaks a little", if you know what I mean, then it's going to turn into a very complicated 20 minute phone call that will involve her asking 2 or 3 times, me repeating myself 2 or 3 times, her repeating wrongly what I said 2 or 3 times, and me correcting her 2 or 3 times. Seriously, the call will go like this - I can hear it already:

Me: so i had an IUI 2 weeks ago and

Receptionist: 2 weeks ago?

Me: yes. And I took a pregnancy test

Receptionist: so you had an IUI 3 weeks ago and took a pregnancy test?

Me: no. I had an IUI 2 weeks ago and

Receptionist: took a pregnancy test 3 weeks ago?

Me: no, i took the pregnancy test yesterday morning and it came out negative

Receptionist: the pregnancy test? or the IUI?

Me: the pregnancy test. Which means both came out negative I guess (nervous laugh)

Receptionist: wait -the IUI test came out negative?

[my mistake, i really shouldn't throw in anything about the IUI test being negative seeing as how her brain seems to be such a fragile thing]

Me: ok, the pregnancy test came out negative and i need to make an appointment for a saline uterus test which i think is called a sonohysterogram -but I'm not sure- because last time Dr So and So said that she thought she saw a polyp on my uterus.

[and the only reason I would be able to get this sentence out without her interrupting me is by talking a mile a minute and and talking over her if she tried to interject. I figured, she was going to get confused either way, so why fragment the conversation?]

And all of that will be for naught because the call will end with her having to call me back after she gets my record to the nurse or doctor to see what they have to say because she just doesn't have a clue- because you know I'm sure I'm THE ONLY ONE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD WHO HAS ASKED TO SCHEDULE A SONOHYSTOGRAM. And it will probably take a day before she calls me back. And hopefully she told the doctor the right thing because if I have to say in THAT phone call: "Ok, and, uh, about that sonohystogram - what did the doctor say about that?" Receptionist: "The what now?" (I had this problem before with her). And that will take ANOTHER day for her to get back to me. And then an appointment the following week (if I'm lucky). Then having to deal with scheduling and having that saline test done. I really don't want to miss a cycle because this one particular receptionist doesn't know how to answer questions and schedule appointments. There are other receptionists there who are really on the ball - four words into the call and they already know what you're trying to say. In fact, they practically finish your sentences for you. They ask the right questions. And they tell you everything you need to know about cycle days and scheduling, etc. God, I hope I get one of them instead of BadReceptionist. The problem is, I think she works there more often than the other ones, and if you're an infertile like me, then you know that timing is everything...I couldn't just try calling back until I got a good receptionist.

By the way, if anyone's reading out there, does anyone know if this is an office visit test or do I have to go to a radiologist like I had to for the HSG? And the timing? (like, which cycle day?)

I'm guessing they'll have to remove the polyp, right? So that means some kind of surgery.

I'm taking a bar exam at the end of July, so I'd have to have this surgery in August. And since I'm taking a lot of vacation time from work to study for the bar, I'm gonna feel like a real heel asking for time off for "medical reasons" in August. But no matter, work will just have to deal with it. Although, I wish I didn't have to wait until August. I certainly want a baby more than taking the bar exam. But what if I give up on taking the bar, focus on this, and still end up not getting pregnant? I'm this close, I'm just going to take the stupid stupid bar exam and deal with this polyp thing in the mean time and hope that that's it.

Come November, when bar results are released, if I'm still not pregnant and haven't passed the bar, then I'll really really really be depressed. Ok, back to crying about not being pregnant and about having to take a bar exam. If you're feeling down, just think to yourself: "at least I'm not studying for a bar exam with a polyp --instead of a baby -- in my uterus!"