Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
We're not taking it anymore!
It just seemed wrong to throw in one of my drawings that tries to make light of the whole infertility thing, ya know? Not when there is so so so much suffering.
But it can be so cathartic to draw our Infertility Monsters meeting their demise. It definitely has helped me cope with the emotional rollercoaster that comes with Infertility. Somehow it made me feel better to tie up my IF monster. And to keep him locked up. Other times it just felt good to scream at him. And who wouldn't want to give their IF Monster a wedgie if given the opportunity? What can I say...I'm a juvenile.
My heart mourns for you and I'm always here to send you hugs through the computer. But if you ever need someone to show your Infertility Monster the business end of a shovel, well, you know where to find me.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
A very bad day
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Just thought I'd explain...
Friday, December 28, 2007
New Years Resolution: Be a Blogger that actually blogs!
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
Don't write me off just yet...!
Friday, April 06, 2007
Time to break some ankles...
Oh yeah, and can't forget this one:
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Happy Valentine's Day (wow - almost didn't post this one in time!)
Thoughts of a Mom, I HATE that stupid BFN monster! I'm sorry he exists.
Oneliner, I just read your last blog post. Well said. I love your writing.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Sunday, January 28, 2007
i don't know why i didn't see this one sooner!
And don't worry, I'm not stopping just because he's screaming "uncle"...some of us have been screaming "uncle" for years and he didn't seem to care.
(I'm so sorry that anyone had to deal with this schmuck this cycle.)
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Friday, January 05, 2007
things we learned at our ultrasound...
- The most important thing we learned was that we have a little bean with a wonderful beating heart, developing right on track, and measuring to the exact day. Whew.
- The size of the yolk sac can actually indicate a higher chance of miscarriage. I didn't know that! The doctor said that a yolk sac that is on the big side could indicate a poor prognosis. Happily, the size of our yolk sac is fine. Another whew.
- I don't feel any nausea. And, apparently, that's okay. Whew whew whew.
- Taking tylenol is okay, but not ibuprofen. And sudafed is not allowed either.
- I thought hormones were the reason for my headaches during week 7 and 8, but the doctor said it could also be due to my blood volume being increased by 50%!
- I need to take it easy because my right ovary is still enlarged. Sometimes, when walking, I'll suddenly feel a twinge or feel like I've pulled a muscle in my abdomen. I was worried about it (of course), but the doctor said to just take it easy.
- I thought I was showing already, but the doctor pointed out where my uterus actually is (right now it's still below my belly button). Well, I have been "showing" all over my abdomen -- not just the area under my belly button. I assumed I was "showing" the effects of egg + sperm. But it turns out I'm actually showing the effects of eggs + flour + butter. Sigh.
In "that's just gross, Gaelen, we need to start setting boundaries" news, another one of Smarshy's monsters showed up.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
worry is kicking my ass
Sunday, December 24, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
hold on, my dears! i'll be there soon!
But like getting pregnant, just because I decided it was time to comment and just because I was determined that I wouldn't have a problem commenting, the forces that be had a different idea entirely.
So, I will be switching to the blogger-formerly-known-as-beta. I'm going to have to bring the IF Monster and that Worry gremlin with me, too, though. But I'll be there soon!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
I wanted to post sooner, but I have a lot of year-end CRAP to deal with at work. Ack.
We had our first ultrasound!!! One gestational sac and a beating heart. I know it's still early and I haven't won the war, but at least seeing the heartbeat is one battle won! I was feeling strong enough that I was actually able to beat my IF Monster at arm wrestling!
Still wearing worry as a backpack though.
And Smarshy's, Gil's, and Angie's IF Monsters are assholes. I'm so sorry. If I could really send your IF Monsters into oblivion via a VERY explosive canon, I would without a moment's hesitation. But I guess all I can do is give you hugs through the computer.
I really hate all our monsters.
Monday, December 11, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
another jackass in the mix
Monday, December 04, 2006
the IF monster got me out of jury duty
"Your Honor, would you consider it a hardship if I have to get my blood drawn everyday and an ultrasound on some of those days between 8:00 and 9:00 a.m. for about a week in a town about 20 miles away so that my doctors can monitor my hormone levels and monitor the effects the hormones are having on my organs and then have the doctors call me in the afternoon to let me know the dosage of my medication for that evening?"
"Yes, Ms. Pregnancy Envy, I would consider that a hardship. You are excused from jury duty. Thank you for your time. And that blue thing you have harnessed is shedding in my court room."
(And I didn't even have to mention going in for the IUI!)
I'm not saying that this is a good reason to have an IF Monster, but if you do have an IF monster, at least you know you can use your treatments to get out of jury duty.
Except for the part where the judge said the IF Monster was shedding. Every since we switched to that new conditioner, he barely sheds at all.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
the ponytail is back
I have my ultrasound in about a week and a half. They'll be able to tell me if there is a yolk sac, whether there is more than 1 gestational sac, and if it implanted in the right place. So many things to worry about.
So I distracted myself with a hair cut yesterday. And my hair looked FAB-U-LOUS, if I do say so myself. Such volume! So shiny! And my long layers were perfect! That lasted for about 10 minutes. And then it looked like it did before I got my hair cut. Sigh.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
still haven't exhaled
Second beta: 2400!
But I'm still really afraid to believe this could actually be happening.
Until then, I'll just make sure the IF Monster's locked up good and tight. At least doing that helps me fight these feelings of helplessness. After years of being at the mercy of my wonky body, I don't think I'll ever feel in control of any of this. It's like I'm afraid of what will happen if the universe catches me imagining the possibility. When I find myself smiling about it, I scold myself for being so arrogant. Damn infertility.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Monday, November 13, 2006
I had my IUI over the weekend so now I'm in the hopeful phase of my cycle. I'm really happy that this cycle was not cancelled like it was last time.